Soapbox
"Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me
when I'm angry."
Other suggested names for this part of the site were "James' rant page"
(mine), "James sounds off" (also mine) and "Grumpy Old Men"
(Emily's). Essentially, it's a collection of online diary entries (interspersed
with the odd email) that I've amalgamated from years of archived work, in which
I wax lyrical about anything and everything. Observations about life, behavioural
tendencies, the media, Spam - coupled with sets of anecdotes, some strange,
some downright odd but all true, or at least only mildly exaggerated.
Names have been changed where appropriate.
In some entries I'm trying to be reflective, in some funny, and in some I'm
merely letting off steam - but as Emily once pointed out, a lot of the time
the humour I cause is quite unintentional. Concordantly I shall leave it to
you to work out which is which, acknowledging the fact that in some of them
I wind up looking quite ridiculous. Two polite requests from the author: 1)
please try not to be too harsh in judging me over the content - it's what I
hope is a constructive use of anger. Left unchecked, anger clouds the mind,
and turned inward, it is a formidable enemy. And 2) don't take any of it - or
me - too seriously.
This page will be as organic as possible in that it will be regularly updated
- as long as I keep writing that diary, anyway - and the newest entries will
always be at the top. Feedback
of any sort is always welcome (although I should warn you that ridiculous and
unjustified flaming will only be posted on here and subsequently ridiculed).
Happy browsing.
James, 25th May 2004.
Current Articles
- 4th May 2010 - Star Wars Day Massacre
- 22nd March 2010 - And when they were only halfway up
- 18th January 2010 - Shoe on the other foot
- 7th January 2010 - Well, that was a neat little summary
- 24th December 2009 - These Foolish Things
- 18th December 2009 - Riding the Nostalgia Train
- 28th November 2009 - The Boy Done Good
- 19th November 2009 - This entry still needs a title
- 2nd November 2009 - Bloodlust for Life
- 26th October 2009 - Intermezzo
- 23rd September 2009 - Hang on, let me get the kitchen paper
- 18th September 2009 - Fuzzy Logic
- 8th September 2009 - Nowhere Man
- 6th September 2009 - It's only words
- 27th August 2009 - Positively 4th Street, if you turn left in 100 yards
- 26th August 2009 - Share and share alike
- 25th August 2009 - Mama Mia, Let Me Go
- 25th August 2009 - Let's have a look at what you could have said
- 6th July 2009 - He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy
- 26th June 2009 - Old Gods, Almost Dead
- 15th June 2009 - And this is what you do with your spare time (part III)
- 18th May 2009 - The Geek shall Inherit the Earth
- 24th April 2009 - Just for the Record
- 19th April 2009 - In Praise of RAS Syndrome
- 11th April 2009 - Human Writes
- 7th February 2009 - Gershwin and Saccharine
- 26th January 2009 - They change the password every week
- 24th January 2009 - All your temps are belong to us
- 23rd January 2009 - Bloodless Freak
- 20th January 2009 - Eat your heart out, Fred West
- 19th January 2009 - Gender Politics
- 13th January 2009 - Starter For Ten
- 29th December 2008 - Life imitates art
- 24th December 2008 - Christmas Musings #2
- 24th December 2008 - Christmas Musings #1
- 29th October 2008 - Lofty Ambition
- 15th September 2008 - And it was only an hour after breakfast
- 11th August 2008 - Fashion Police State
- 15th July 2008 - Parrot
- 19th June 2008 - One For The Road
- 16th May 2008 - Pet Peeve
- 23rd April 2008 - By any other name
- 18th April 2008 - Sentences and Sensibility
- 14th April 2008 - Stalking for Dummies
- 11th April 2008 - Lightbulb
- 8th April 2008 - Let's never speak of this
again
- 7th April 2008 - We're only in it for the
money
- 31st March 2008 - Back on the Red
- 12th March 2008 - The Elephant Man never
had these problems
- 14th February 2008 - That was a long way
to go for the sake of a pun
- 7th February 2008 - (Fe)line Management
- 6th December 2007 - My family, and other
animals
- 21st November 2007 - The Force will be with
you always (whether you like it or not)
- 12th November 2007 - Interlude
- 22nd October 2007 - Never work with children
or animals
- 17th October 2007 - Moment of Truth
- 2nd October 2007 - By Any Other Name
- 26th September 2007 - And On That Note
- 5th September 2007 - Identity Crisis
- 21st August 2007 - Requiem for a Tiger
- 9th August 2007 - Lost For Words (Part II)
- 8th August 2007 - Lost For Words
- 28th July 2007 - The Cute Factor
- 25th July 2007 - The world's most disastrous
pitch
- 21st July 2007 - Nancy Banks Smith is on
holiday
- 19th July 2007 - Line Management
- 13th May 2007 - The King of Wishful thinking
- 28th April 2007 - Photo opportunity
- 21st April 2007 -
'hogs
- 12th April 2007 - In defence of creationism
- 11th April 2007 - How to dispense with different
types of sales callers from quite a long way away (part II)
- 28th February 2007 - Paperback Bible
- 30th January 2007 - Communication breakdown
- 1st January 2007 - Bear 54, where are you?
- 21st November 2006 - Giving it a hundred
and ten per cent
- 3rd November 2006 - It could only happen
on a Friday
- 31st October 2006 - Blood not-so-simple
- 25th October 2006 - Torchwooden (spoiler-heavy)
- 28th July 2006 - Legs, bums and opposable
thumbs
- 8th June 2006 - "This...is the longest
day of my life."
- 16th May 2006 - Muzak to soothe the savage
beast
- 2nd May 2006 - "Which coloured house
are we going to?"
- 20th March 2006 - Big Fish, small pond
- 2nd March 2006 - Food, glorious food
- 1st March 2006 - Cheddars Plays Pop
- 8th February 2006 - Park and (taken for a)
ride, part II
- 6th February 2006 - Park and (taken for a)
ride
- 27th January 2006 - God's great banana skin
- 13th January 2006 - Golden slumbers kiss
your eyes
- 6th December 2005 - Je ne cigarette rien
- 25th November 2005 - Unhappiness is a warm
phone
- 14th November 2005 - Baby Talk21.com
- 17th October 2005 - Fantastic starts to the
week, vol. IV
- 17th October 2005 - "And to the studio..."
- 14th October 2005 - All your reprint are
belong to us
- 13th October 2005 - Change the record
- 7th October 2005 - The junk of poetry
- 3rd October 2005 - Growing old disgracefully
- 16th September 2005 - Caffeine Interlude
- 15th September 2005 - FPS Fatigue, and others
- 9th September 2005 - The poetics of junk
- 6th September 2005 - "Yes you did, you
invaded Poland!"
- 16th August 2005 - Pills and thrills and
bellyaches
- 29th July 2005 - Roman soldiers do wear watches
(but where do they get the batteries?)
- 25th July 2005 - "But this is my day
job..."
- 22nd July 2005 - Sketches for the ideal home
- 14th July 2005 - Moneyspinners Inc.
- 3rd July 2005 - Afterbirth (Part II)
- 1st July 2005 - Afterbirth (Part I)
- 28th June 2005 - Joshua. You are Josh. Josh
you are.
- 26th June 2005 - The bed's too big without
you
- 20th June 2005 - Variety is the slice of
life (part II)
- 17th June 2005 - Weighing in at three hundred
pounds, and a tickling stick
- 25th May 2005 - "...and I see your Schwarz
is as big as mine..."
- 17th May 2005 - The Lady of Letters
- 14th May 2005 - BOGOF / Bog off
- 11th May 2005 - "I always drink coffee
when I watch radar..."
- 6th May 2005 - Single entendre
- 4th May 2005 - "Can't stop this thing
we started"
- 26th April 2005 - The Importance of Being
Ambiguous
- 26th April 2005 - Ill Wind
- 21st April 2005 - Eat your heart out, Alexander
- 19th April 2005 - An unfortunate combination
of cheese and lack of stimulus
- 11th April 2005 - God Save (the) Queen
- 8th March 2005 - Power dressing for beginners
- 3rd March 2005 - He's behind you
- 2nd March 2005 - The sum of all fears
- 28th February 2005 - Mr Bump
- 17th February 2005 - "I've never been
too good with names, but I remember faces"
- 8th February 2005 - Goo-goog a joob
- 4th February 2005 - Running out of Steam
- 2nd February 2005 - 'C' is for cliché
- 25th January 2005 - "Daddy's taking
us to the zoo tomorrow"
- 20th January 2005 - And all this before
breakfast
- 14th January 2005 - Dangerous game
- 4th January 2005 - Boxing Day Ramble
- 24th December 2004 - For England and St George
- 9th December 2004 - Transport of delight
- 6th December 2004 - Leave the cheese out
of sight next time
- 23rd November 2004 - Talking garbage
- 15th November 2004 - Charity begins at home
- 12th November 2004 - You've been here before
- 10th November 2004 - How to dispense with
different types of sales callers from quite a long way away
- 28th October 2004 - Invasion of the Corsa
Snatchers
- 5th October 2004 - Sing to the east and the
west
- 13th September 2004 - One From The Road
- 13th August 2004 - Next time, we order Chinese
- 11th August 2004 - The Lynch Mob Awaits
- 10th August 2004 - Away, with the fairies
- 5th August 2004 - We'll meet again, Spiderman
- 22nd July 2004 - "Ev'rybody wants to
be a cat"
- 21st July 2004 - Every six seconds
- 19th July 2004 - Of Mice And Men
- 19th July 2004 - Midsummer Night's Ice Cream
- 12th July 2004 - God may be a DJ, but he
doesn't do weddings
- 5th July 2004 - Sometimes I think it would
be simpler owning a rabbit
- 16th June 2004 - All creatures great, small,
and lethal
- 10th June 2004 - 103 things to do with a
dead horse
- 25th March 2004 - The Annie Wilkes Complex
- 9th March 2004 - And this is what you do
with your spare time (part II)
- 20th February 2004 - Dreams in plastic
- 19th February 2004 - Your pipe and slippers
will be delivered within 28 days
- 10th February 2004 - "You've been watching
too many movies, Charlie Brown"
- 9th February 2004 - Variety is the slice
of life
- 29th January 2004 - "The maestro says
it's Mozart, but it sounds like bubblegum..."
- 21st January 2004 - Rolling like thunder,
under the covers
- 8th January 2004 - "The great American
pop song is a dish rag"
- 4th January 2004 - Right behind you, Mr Frodo
- 11th December 2003 - Spam from hell, part
II
- 3rd December 2003 - IT blues
- 19th November 2003 - Spam from hell
- 23rd September 2003 - Get your coat love,
you've pulled
- 29th August 2003 - Greenbelt (Part II)
- 28th August 2003 - Greenbelt
- 11th August 2003 - Come here dear boy, have
a cigar
- 7th August 2003 - Turn and face the strange
changes
- 30th July 2003 - Family ties
- 11th June 2003 - Crimson summer
- 26th May 2003 - Muppet in the spring (a Eurovision
2003 commentary)
- 7th May 2003 - Any other name
- 26th April 2003 - The mirror cracked
- 24th April 2003 - Alternative Easter
- 24th March 2003 - Say goodbye to Hollywood
- 21st March 2003 - In the desert, part II
- 20th March 2003 - In the desert
- 12th March 2003 - And this is what you do
with your spare time
- 11th March 2003 - Musical desks
- 4th March 2003 - The checks in the mail
- 25th February 2003 - Striking a happy medium
- 24th February 2003 - Both sides of the electric
fence
- 13th February 2003 - "I danced for the
scribe and the pharisee" (a homage to Capalert.com)
- 8th February 2003 - Fallen angel
- 7th February 2003 - Black box rewarding
- 8th January 2003 - Love thy neighbour, as
long as you're sure he's not a terrorist
- 7th January 2003 - The big bright green pleasure
machine
- 16th December 2002 - Dr Freud will see you
now
- 21st November 2002 - Fundamentally stupid
(a homage to Jack Chick)
- 16th October 2002 - The red sea parteth
- 25th September 2002 - Ghost in the (washing)
machine
- 14th September 2001 - The Andy Warhol Complex
(Ritual humiliation on local radio)