Friday, 9th September 2005.

The poetics of junk

I get some lewd, obscene and pointless spam, but this one is just surreal.

"increase the size of your manhood

Forget about your partner faking her orgasm or not being able to please her.
You will be able to penetrate deeper so your partner will experience more
pleasure as well as multiple orgasms during sexual intercourse. 86% of women
surveyed said that they would like their partner to be more 'full' sexually."

Yeah, right. So far, so good. Now here comes the standard affirmation from a satisfied customer...

"You guys have made my dreams come true. I have been self-conscience for as
long as I can remember. I did not want to shower with other guys growing up,
because I was embarrassed. Not only has your system increased the size of my
manhood while erect, but it has helped my size while flaccid as well. I hang
bigger, and I feel more like the man I should have been all these years. The
change is tremendous, I wanted to send you this note to let you know what it
has done for me, and of course to order more LONGZ! Leroy, Brooklyn"

I was about to hit the 'delete' button, and then I found this at the bottom.

"Then he consulted his compass, put the indicator of his traveling machine to
the word up, and shot swiftly into the air.
When he had reached a sufficient height he placed the indicator to a point
north of east and, with a steady and remarkably swift flight, began his
journey.

Here goes, he remarked, with a sense of exaltation, for another week of
adventure! I wonder what'll happen between now and next Saturday."