Wednesday, 2nd March 2005.

The sum of all fears

Emailing jokes is something I tend to do less and less these days, but yesterday I found a good one in the Bad Jokes file - reprinted below for reference:

80,000 Blondes meet in a stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A Blonde works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 Blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So she asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds the Blonde eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the Blonde starts crying and 80,000 women begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,

"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"

The blonde closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 Blondes jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

* * * * *

So far so good. I sent this out to a number of people - including several of the blonde persuasion, although all of them were suitably good-natured to appreciate the joke. It was Alison, as I predicted, who reacted first, sending out the response below - which, I would add, was entirely serious:

From: Alison Evans
Sent: 01 March 2005 16:28
To: James Baldock ; Jonathan Oliver; Heidi Cormode; Davida Saunders; Jim Orr; Kerry Deussen; John Oliver; Annie Owen; Roland Jackson; Sharon Bird; Jane Boxall; Beth Davies; Paul Sensecall
Subject: RE: Apologies in advance....

For the record,

30.

10.

2.

Signed, a blonde.

A few seconds after she'd hit the send button, Alison leaned back in her chair and looked over at me with a mildly smug, self-satisfied grin. "James, did you get my email?"

"Yes," I replied, looking at the screen. "But you - well, you've got the last one wrong..."