Thursday, 20th January 2005.

And all this before breakfast

Reading, 7 a.m.

"Hello? David?"
"Yes, Dad?"
This, I should make clear from the outset, is unusual. My grandfather tends to ring at very specific times - just before he goes to bed in the evening. It's true that this has been getting earlier and earlier over the last few months, but to receive a call first thing was not something that usually happened, and when it did the internal alarm bells suddenly went off. What could he want? Was everything all right? Was he hurt? Was he in any immediate -

"I can't find my remote control."
Ah.
"Can't you?"
"No. I've lost it."
In the background, my father could hear the TV blaring at the full volume that a partial deafness necessitates. "What one are you using at the moment?"
"What?"
"What remote control?"
"Joe's."
"Is it rectangular, and black?"
"Yes."
"That's yours, Dad."
"Is it?"
"Yes. Don't you remember? The other one got broken - the back came off - and that's why we got you that one."
"Oh. Right."
"Joe doesn't have a remote control. He doesn't have a TV..."

It's nice to see my grandfather happier these days - or at least contented - but sometimes I wish he weren't quite so vague, although I think I have come as close as I am ever going to get to accepting that this is something that happens to you when you get old. Sometimes his actions make me laugh, and sometimes they make me cry. Sometimes they just baffle me.

"I shouldn't be opening these, really," he was telling my parents on December 27th, surrounded by unwrapped gifts and a shower of paper."
"Why not?"
"It's not Christmas yet."
"It was Christmas two days ago, Dad."
"Was it?"
"Yes. You remember us phoning you to wish you a Happy Christmas?"
"No. I don't know what day it is in here most of the time."

There was comparative silence while he unwrapped the rest of the presents, and then he reached out and hit the panic button.

"Why are you doing that?"
"I want the nurses to come up here."
"Why? Are you hurting or anything?"
"No," he said. "I want them all to see what I got for Christmas."