Tuesday, 9th March 2004.

And this is what you do with your spare time, part II

"Charlotte?"
"Yes?"
"Did you ever watch Superted?"
"Yes."
"Do you remember how, in the opening credits, they'd always tell his backstory, and how he was created?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Well, the narrator says 'When he was made, they found something wrong with him, and threw him away like a piece of rubbish'. And we never found out what that thing actually was. But he was obviously a defective bear before he became a superhero."
"I remember. We never did find out, did we?"
"It's a mystery."
"How do you sleep at night, James?"
"I don't. Why do you think I always look so tired in the morning?"

* * * * *

And talking of superheroes...from Annie:

"I've always thought how wonderful to be like Wonder Woman and just be able to whizz round in a phone box. But did they ever show her going back the other way?.. And how would her clothes know where to find her?..."

From me:

"I used to love tuning in to Wonderwoman, and I loved what she did with her arms and the spinning thing, but - like you - wondered what on earth happened when superheroes got changed. Superman you can figure out - I mean I assume that he had his clothes on underneath his costume - which might account for the bulge in his, erm, pelvic region. But seeing as you can see Wonderwoman's legs and forearms, I can only assume that she buried them somewhere.

"And when they changed back it gets even more confusing. I am guessing that some heroes graced with the art of super-speed, like our favourite son of Krypton, were just *that* quick. (The worry is that the term 'faster than a speeding bullet' might apply in the bedroom department as well.) The Incredible Hulk defies logic - never mind the fact that his trousers were immaculate and very tight; that's just for the sake of decency. I'm more concerned about how David Banner managed to stuff so many shirts in that little knapsack he carried around with him every week, and have them looking so great without ever getting the chance to use the iron.

"But a case like Batman is really weird - he'd slide down a pole and flick a switch on the way down and when he got to the bottom he'd be wearing the cowl and cape - still on the pole. Which is physically impossible. Where would you put your arms? And this is before we get to the button which inexplicably moved him up the pole and changed his clothes back, whilst simultaneously cleaning up his hair and tying a necktie and transferring wallet and car keys from one outfit to the other. I guess that they must have just had dozens of robotic arms, like the ones in a car factory, that worked on the tights and cape and boots. Which is a little bit kinky, although I did always have my suspicions about Bruce and Dick and whether Aunt Harriet was actually a homosexual drag queen named Barney."